I heard a joke in English today. Here it is
Laura Bush died and went to heaven. She walked around a little, and noticed a lot of clocks. She asked what the clocks were for. A saint said that every time someone lied, the clock would move one minute forward and the saints are the clocks that were still at 12:00. “Where is my husband’s clock?” asked Laura. “Oh his clock is in God’s office.” “What, is he like a Saint or something?” asked Laura. “No, God just needed a quick, cheap ceiling fan.” replied the Saint.
Here’s another one that took me a while to get
A man walked into a bar and said “ouch”
Only 4 days until Winter Break Begins! When it starts, all I have to do is sit around and wait for christmas day. Then, after we open our presents and eat breakfast, and play with them a little bit, then we go to my grandparent’s house, about 2 hours northeast from where I live. My aunts and uncles, cousins, family, and grandparents are all there! My grandparents live in a very nice house. In fact, their backyard is literally the Mississippi river! If you go out their back door, walk about 100 feet, you are in the Mississippi River! This is great because in the summer we can go fishing, and in the winter, we tie sled onto the back of my grandpa’s four-wheeler and he pulls us all around in his forest-of-a-backyard (And on the river, too). And this year, my uncle is bringing his snowmobiles, and me and him always have a big race! I can’t believe this is all coming up so soon!